Communication, and strong positive and effective one is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. For instance, buying lingerie for a partner who would rather have a book or vice versa seems like an inconsequential mistake, but pile up such mistakes can lead to serious unhappiness and feelings of resentment.
Relationships are about give and take. A strong point to this lies equally in the way we communicate with one another. How much in a verbal and nonverbal exchange are we giving, or taking? Are we truly working as much to be understood as well as we are to understand? These are key points I will be addressing in today’s post.
Listening, listening is a key component to healthy communication. When thinking about the way we communicate with others, especially those with whom we are in romantic relationships with listening is always a positive way to show affirmation of feelings and validity. So why is it so hard to do? You see most of us are hearers and not listeners. Hearing is simply about getting the words or at least most of the words being communicated but listening is about comprehension and more importantly, the willingness to do so. When your partner tells you how they feel, are you getting the words or trying to understand where they are coming from? This makes all the difference and is effective in both verbal and nonverbal communication. Do you stay attuned to your partner’s body language when they are uncomfortable by trying to locate the cause and help resolve it, or do you simply note the discomfort? Listening to your partner shows them not only that you know, but that you understand and are interested in doing so.
Speaking, when we come to the giving portion of communication, we must address our internal need to lash out in times of conflict or to simply shut down in times of misunderstanding. Accurately communicating one’s feelings without vindication can be difficult but makes the general mood easier to flow in and leads to further communication by reducing the fear of disapproval.
Remember its all about give and take. Good luck!